Smooth Pick Up Line

1. No, that's not a gun in my pocket. I am happy to see you.

2. Is that a tic-tac in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

3. You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.

4. I'm drunk.

5. I just threw up.

6. You're ugly but you intrigue me.

7. I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that.

8. You know, I'd really love to fuck your brains out, but it appears someone beat me to it.

9. Are you wearing windex? I swear I can see myself in your pants.

10. They call me Milk, because I do your body good.

11. Hey baby, what winks and fucks like a tiger?

12. You sweat just like David Dinkins.

13. Your daddy must be a drug dealer cos you dope.

14. Well, fuck me if I'm wrong but is your name Bob?

15. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

16. (Wait til the end of the evening when everything is real hazy and alcohol soaked, walk up to someone you've never met and say, ) come on, we're leaving. (The key is to act like you know them.)

17. Does your ass still hurt from when you fell out of heaven?

18. Do you believe in love at first sight? If not, I'll walk by again.

19. You don't sweat much for a fat girl.

20. (Lick your finger and touch the person, touch yourself with it and say,) let's you and me get out of these wet clothes.

21. If I follow you home, will you keep me?

22. Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

23. Hey babe, can I tickle your belly button from the inside?

24. Do you want to fuck, or should I apologize?

25. That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed.

26. Let's take a shower together --you smell.

27. Yo, my friend likes you.

28. Nice titties.

29. Hey, sweet tits!

30. Do you want to see something swell?

31. Hey babe...do you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi?

32. Drop 'em!

33. Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?

34. Wanna fuck like bunnies?

35. Say, did we go to different schools together?

36. Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

37. I had a friend who used to hand out phone cards that said: "Smile if you want to sleep with me." And watch them try to hold back their laugh.

38. Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?

39. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

40. Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?

41. Hey baby, let's go make some babies.

42. At the office copy machine. "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"

43. Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?

44. I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!

45. Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose?

46. Hey babe...can you suck start a Harley?

47. Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."

48. Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?

49. A women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"

50. Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?

51. Say mother, want another? (if she has kids)

52. Bond. James Bond.

53. Do you spit or swallow?

54. You look like the type of girl that has heard every line in the book. So what's one more?

55. Your place or mine?

56. Nice shoes, wanna fuck?

57. You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.

58. Would you like to have morning coffee with me?

59. Your face or MINE!?

60. "Are you ready to go home yet?"

61. If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

62. When she asks, for a match. How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?

63. Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?

64. I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.

65. Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.

67. Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.

68. I wanna floss with your pubic hair.

69. I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?

70. I'd look good on you.

71. Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?

72. I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I have more of somethingelse.

73. I would kill or die to make love to you.

74. Sex is a killer...want to die happy?

75. I love every bone in your body - especially mine.

76. Hi, I make more money than you can spend.

77. HI! Can I buy you a car?

78. NOW, BITCH!

79. Fancy a fuck?

80. My face is leaving in 10 minutes. Be on it.

81. Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?

82. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

83. Look at the tag in her shirt and say: "I want to see if you were really made in heaven."

84. Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?

85. You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?

86. Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Have you ever had your belly-button licked?...(Yes)...From the inside?

87. Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.

88. If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?

89. Hi, how are you?

90. Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.

91. Hi, my name is {name}, I like peanut butter, wanna fuck?

92. I am a magical being, take off your bra.

93. Hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard?

94. Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.

95. Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a women masturbate with these two fingers?" (Idon't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."